The Breathing of Evening
“The breathing of evening”, these words are Rumis’, ancient and wise. How does it feel to take a breath and sit with those words for a bit?
The breathing of evening.
Did you take a deep breath and sigh, or was it just me?
When I read these words and use them to close a yoga practice, it makes me think about slowing down.
I have been desperately trying to slow down since a deep bereavement this year broke me in all the ways it’s possible to be broken.
Since then I’ve been on the run, and if I’m really honest I’ve been running for longer than this year, probably all my life. My nervous system is always on, always alert, never resting.
Some of those sprints have led to beautiful things, some have crashed, some I left abandoned in good time. But the momentum has been most definitely forward.
Both questions have been asked of me, what are you running from and what are you running to?
And the answer to both those questions is that I have no idea, none, not a one. What can I learn from the breathing of evening?
I have been living with the mantra - to percolate intention, for a few months and I’ve now borrowed a new mantra from a beautiful friend Donna:
“I am doing less”
What happens when I switch off my thinking - active - running - brain and just let things percolate and actually do less?
First thing , mild panic.
Second thing…distract myself from the panic by planning the next move, like the dog in Up shouting Squirrel!
So what can the words of Rumi and this beautiful practice of yoga give me?
Space - I need to create some space.
Space is when all the good things happen, but instead of giving myself space I’ve been filling all the space, every space, any space, with doing.
Doing is not being, I’m avoiding.
Ritual - I need to bring more ritual in my life.
Having the privilege to teach and create safe space for people is one of the greatest joys of my life. But I have not been giving myself the same care. I have confused learning how to take care of others with taking care of myself.
Regular ritual brings me balance and allows me to fill my own cup so I can give back to others.
Darkness - We are in the dark months.
This is an incredible powerful time to rest and reflect. Nature is literally telling us to hibernate. This year I’m going to listen.
Comfort - Time to courie in.
Blankets, baths, walks, nourishing food. How do I heal my nervous system? I start from the inside out.
Slow - Listen to my body, physical and emotional.
In the word of my idol Kylie Minogue, “skip a beat and move with my body, slow.”
Breathe - Just be with the breath
Be with the breathing of evening, spacious, ritual, welcoming the dark and couried in.
So what have I learned from the breathing of evening?
To prioritise healing my nervous system and do less
Understanding that doing less doesn’t mean I’m lazy or losing my way, it just means I’m giving myself some space to percolate and regulate
That teaching yoga is the most beautiful gift and I want to come to it always with a open heart and full presence
I’m stepping into these dark evenings with a full deep breath, see you in Spring.
Lots of love Nat 💚